Like a favored recipe, the making and maintaining of a healthy self-esteem start with the right fresh ingredients lovingly prepared. Here’s a recipe that we all need to add to our lives and enjoy often.
Recipe for a Healthy Self-Esteem:
Start with one part connection Liberally sprinkle with large doses of unique identity Season with a bit of power Stir in positive role models Mix all ingredients together and let self-esteem rise.
This recipe is best if consumed as a regular part of daily life.
After many years of research, Clemes and Bean found that only four basic conditions are necessary for maintaining a high self-esteem: connectiveness, uniqueness, power and role models.
Over the course of the next few blog entries, I will discuss each of these vital conditions with you in detail. Let’s start with Connectiveness.
Connectiveness. The satisfaction a person experiences when he/she feels part of or belongs to something larger (group, family, etc.) than themselves, and when they feel they’re important to those people with whom they “belong”.
No man is an island. This is more than a clique. It’s the truth. We need each other.
Psychologist Abraham Maslow concluded that the need to belong is one of the five basic needs a human being has, and is only lower than psychological (food, water, shelter) and safety (security, stability, freedom from fear) needs. It’s no wonder that you can belong to almost ANY kind of group in our society, sports, school and church groups, peer, critique, and hobby groups. The list goes on and on.
Take a look at your connections. How connected do you feel? What groups do you belong to? What kind of social framework does your life rest upon? How connected to your family and friends are you?
If the answers to these questions feel a bit sparse, look into ways you can build up that connection in your life.
Connectiveness is an essential ingredient for living a healthy, balanced life and will help ensure that your self-esteem is right where it should be. In 
In contrast to how a child belongs in the world, adult belonging is never as natural, innocent, or playful. Adult belonging has to be chosen, received, and renewed. It is a lifetime’s work. –John O’Donahue
June 4th, 2010 at 5:36 pm
Great post Linda!
You are so right, we all crave a connection. I have been known to be a bit of a loner at times and i know this doesnt help you achieve anything… apart from a bit of me time
Have you noticed that a lot of the big advertising companies use the hook of “if you are not part of our group/product, you are no-one”
In the end we all want to be close to someone
I cant wait to hear about the other 3 ingredients
Cheers,
Matt
.-= Matt Jones´s last blog ..Who Inspires You? =-.
June 4th, 2010 at 6:40 pm
Thanks Matt! I can’t wait to share the other 3 ingredients with you either!
June 4th, 2010 at 5:59 pm
Linda,
Being connected is like oxygen. No man is an island. I can’t fathom life without the phenomenal connections (friends) who are such a vital part of life.
.-= Darlene Davis´s last blog ..Art of Office Organization =-.
June 4th, 2010 at 6:38 pm
Thank you Darlene~ I’m glad you’e one of mine!
April 30th, 2011 at 5:54 am
Hi Linda!
You have made a very wonderful thing here by sharing your recipe of a healthy self-esteem. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts about this one. Keep it up and once again, Thank you!
Regards,
Karen
May 2nd, 2011 at 12:49 am
Hi Linda! Nice post you got there. Congratulations. It’s very informative. As the saying goes “no man is an island”. So we all have to socialize and meet other people.
Regards,
Karen
May 2nd, 2011 at 5:48 pm
Karen,
And the popularity of social media online proves it!
Linda
ps. I noticed you don’t have a gravatar! Connecting an image to your comment (actually to your email address) is very important! It’s simple and free! Check out this post and I’ll walk you through it! http://lindagraceonline.com/get-the-focus-on-you/
July 1st, 2011 at 12:48 pm
Health is indeed wealth! This post is worth sharing with everyone. I love how the balance of nutrients is emphasized here. This one aspect has been neglected by most peoples. Mostly, we think that eating the right amount of servings from the different food groups is enough. We are actually missing out on the nutritive value that we must consume daily. I hope you post more about things like this. Thanks!
July 1st, 2011 at 5:31 pm
Shed,
I look forward to knowing your name! I believe what you’re saying is true! The unfortunatel thing is that our produce is so deluted it’s not enough! We really need to take supliments!
Linda
July 1st, 2011 at 6:24 pm
Hello Linda,
My real name is Eleazar. I totally agree with your ideas…Thank you very much..
July 2nd, 2011 at 3:45 pm
Eleazar,
Thank you for letting me know! I look forward to networking with you!
Linda
August 21st, 2011 at 7:26 am
This can definitely inspire someone to heighten up his self esteem!
The feeling that you belong is one factor which makes everyone have self confidence and self-esteem 
August 22nd, 2011 at 7:21 pm
Sean,
It’s awesome to recognize the feelings of belonging! Thank you for taking the time to comment!
Linda
September 20th, 2011 at 1:36 am
This post really hit me. I have such a big problem with self-esteem. You wrote about connectiveness. Do you think some people are incapable of connecting. I seem to be unable to with people. Sad.
September 20th, 2011 at 3:42 am
Cynthia,
Thank you for sharing a piece of your Story! It shows what I think is the an important part of personal growth and development~ introspection! As I’ve said before, great joy starts with becoming a “master observer.” I believe that we are motivated many times by pain. If you had a difficult experience with someone in the past you might have learned to protect yourself from the pain but steering clear of connecting with anyone. My suggestion is to use your observation skills and look into your past. Identify the pain and as difficult as it is, feel it and let it go. I wrote a post about it. http://lindagraceonline.com/create-a-wonderful-life-let-go-of-your-pain/ ~ This is just one of 5 steps that you can read in my ebook by leaving your name and email address on the right side of this blog. Come back and tell me more!
Linda
June 4th, 2010 at 9:30 pm
Hey Linda
there is so much truth in those words. Working it backwards….basically to be healthy and vibrant, we need to be happy. To be happy, we need to have the ingredients you’ve mentioned.
Thanks for sharing, I look forward to the rest of the recipe
To Balance & Harmony
Toni
.-= Toni King´s last blog ..Our Fellow Sea Beings =-.
May 27th, 2011 at 12:54 am
@Toni
You said, “basically to be healthy and vibrant, we need to be happy. To be happy, we need to have the ingredients you’ve mentioned.”
It’s true Toni. If you are not happy, nothing will work well for you. This will also affect your health.
May 27th, 2011 at 9:28 am
Jennifer,
You are so right!
Linda
ps. Why don’t you get a Gravatar, a picture connected to your comments? I’ll show you how here http://lindagraceonline.com/get-the-focus-on-you/ then leave another comment and let me see!
December 22nd, 2010 at 12:09 pm
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July 19th, 2011 at 12:13 pm
I agree that feeling connected is important to one’s self esteem. That degree of connectedness varies greatly. I am completely content with only having my wife to be content. Although I do spend time with my nephews, niece, and a couple of friends occasionally I really don’t need much.
My wife on the other hand feels empty without a lot of connections. Her self esteem is greatly affected by this.
September 12th, 2011 at 3:18 am
I think there is something wrong if you want to belong. Because you will tend to pretend who you are not. Connecting with other people is good because you can relate and just have social activities. But you don’t have to belong if you are not. Just be yourself.
September 12th, 2011 at 7:37 am
Olivia,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts about this! I really appreciate your honesty! Often people only comment when they have the same opinion. I have to agree that often people aren’t honest with themselves, or other people, but I think of Abraham Maslow, a famous psychologist who defined the needs of the human race has a very valuable theory. He’s famous for his ‘Hierarchy of Needs’ outlining the basic needs of every person and ‘belonging and love’ needs in their families and other relationships is one of them. Have you ever read any of Maslow’s work?
Linda
September 14th, 2011 at 5:00 pm
You made a great recipe for self-esteem. I’m impressed the way elaborate it, I was being alone for this past few days because me and my friends have a misconceptions regarding about relationship and marriage it sounds weird but it is true. We’re gonna okay soon. Thanks for sharing this wonderful post. Have a great day and more blessings to come!
September 15th, 2011 at 11:23 am
Sophie,
I’d love to hear what you learned from your experiences! I love to hear details!! If you ever come back share what feel like sharing!
Linda
September 29th, 2011 at 12:03 am
Thanks for taking the time out to write this. I have been struggling with self esteem as of late, and I really need to start addressing the issue since it is preventing me from fulfilling my potential as a human being. Is part two available online now?
September 30th, 2011 at 2:42 pm
Abbas,
Yes it is, and part 3 and 4! here it is: http://lindagraceonline.com/there-is-no-one-alive-who-is-youer-than-you-the-recipe-for-a-healthy-self-esteem-part-two/, http://lindagraceonline.com/i-feel-the-powerthe-recipe-for-a-healthy-self-esteem-part-3/ and http://lindagraceonline.com/this-ones-for-the-girls%e2%80%a6/
September 29th, 2011 at 5:26 pm
Having a healthy lifestyle helps us to become a good person. We can do our job so easily if we have a healthy body. Eating a balanced diet and a daily proper exercise would really be a great help to all of us. Thank you for this update.
November 1st, 2011 at 3:21 pm
It probably boils down to feeling that we are a part of something that is bigger than ourselves. There is a sense of security and encouragement from a group… I don’t think that we were meant to live this life alone and it shows in our self-esteem.