At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down FINALLY. (I must admit, it’s pretty spot-on good.)
We always hear “the rules’ from the female side….now, here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules…….
Please note: They are all numbered “1″ ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers. (First and foremost rule.)
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up; you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about your leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports or the news: It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said six (6) months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after SEVEN (7) days.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done. NOT BOTH. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Captian Cook did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only sixteen (16) colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have absolutely NO idea what mauve is!
1. If it itches, it WILL be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing”, we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine…..REALLY.
1. Don’t ask us what you’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or cars.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. (Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know that men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.)
I thank my Aunt Marian for emailing me this!
September 22nd, 2012 at 2:52 am
“If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.”
Why oh why can’t I ever remember this when I need it? I’m fairly certain men are born with a genetic predisposition to this, haha.
September 25th, 2012 at 10:23 am
Jordan~
You are not alone, we all need to remember…
~Linda
September 24th, 2012 at 10:09 am
awesome blog and article.Thanks for sharing it.
September 25th, 2012 at 10:21 am
Joseph, You’re a man, do you agree?
Linda
September 24th, 2012 at 9:54 pm
Indeed a manly rules and perceptions. But many girls will rise up their eyebrows. : )
September 25th, 2012 at 10:20 am
Mike~
You’re right but it is what it is and the sooner we woman accept it the easier life will be!
~Linda
September 24th, 2012 at 11:29 pm
i agree with all the point,thanks for sharing such a nice post…!!!!
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September 25th, 2012 at 10:19 am
Bhavesh~
I’m glad you took the time to comment, it’s nice to hear it from a man!
~Linda
September 26th, 2012 at 10:04 am
men don’t like to recognize anything even they are absolutely wrong. ahh
September 27th, 2012 at 12:10 am
Evelyn,
That’s not one that my guys do, they really see it for what it is! When I got this email I sat with my husband, daughter and son-in-law and laughed till we cried! We read the “9 responses women use” and “The Man Rules” and we all think they are hitting the mark!
~Linda
September 27th, 2012 at 3:56 am
Hello Linda,
It takes both men and women to make this world. Nobody is ruling individually.
Regards,
Sanjib
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September 28th, 2012 at 12:15 pm
Sanjib~
You’re right on this one!!!
~Linda
September 27th, 2012 at 3:14 pm
Oh boy that hurts. You have too many shoes. Had to have a good laugh at all the funnies. Does a woman EVER have enough shoes? NO!
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September 28th, 2012 at 12:15 pm
Suzanne~
I love it! I laughed all the way through this! Hearing your comment makes me chuckle again! Just like I told Evelyn a couple days ago, my husband, daughter and son-in-law read these together and laughed till we cried! We read the “9 responses women use” and “The Man Rules” and we all think they are hitting the mark! I have to agree with you, we are entitled to have as many shoes as we’d like! Girls like to be looked at and boys like to look, shoes are part of what makes us look so good! heehee
~Linda
October 14th, 2012 at 1:45 pm
Hilarious and I’ve got to say so typical of all my male friends – bless them! I’m not entirely sure if this is what makes them endearing or occasionally irritating but no doubt there’s a similar list about us women somewhere out there in the cyber realms…
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November 1st, 2012 at 7:05 pm
Chrissie~
The closest thing that has been delivered to my inbox was the one I posted a while ago http://lindagraceonline.com/nine-responses-women-use/ (the cyber realms are a riot!)
Take Care!
~Linda
October 30th, 2012 at 1:11 am
That’s because most people thrive on convenience alone, so they switch to self-help journals, publications and internet content. But this post is a great heads up. Thanks!
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November 5th, 2012 at 2:03 pm
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January 14th, 2013 at 9:48 pm
Well, in a word ‘TRUTH’
There still needs to be a liberal dose of give and take in communication between any 2 people and it’s needed more when those 2 people think differently.
I do agree that if you want to ask something, just freaking ask and deal with the answer. Life is too short to be beating around the bush, if you ask me.
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January 31st, 2013 at 9:23 pm
Martin,
You make me smile!
~Linda
May 1st, 2013 at 12:39 am
Anything we said six (6) months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after SEVEN (7) days.
LOL this was just too funny! Awesome post, very well-written! Enjoyed it! Going to share it with my friends
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May 18th, 2013 at 10:47 am
Pitt~
You’re too fun!
~Linda