Instead of repeating the same mistakes your parents made, you can learn from them. Instead of wounding your kids, you can learn and grow from your experiences. This is what my mother did. She was a child wait, it goes back a generation. Mom’s grandma was abused by her grandpa. This was back in 1910.

Grandma experienced such a horrible family life where she learned, deep down, that men are bad. Then my grandma found men that lived up to her expectations, she married men who were bad. This created a horrible upbringing for my mom.

My mom broke the chain of abuse. She rose above the destructive patterns that she was taught as a youth. I’m sure my mom knew that her home was missing something. She saw her friend’s family life and wished she had a life like they did.

Mom became a pioneer. She watched and read. She paid attention to how she was feeling, what her automatic responses were, and learned how to change. Mom realizes that grandma did the best she could with the information that she had, then selectively chose what patterns she was going to keep and pass on to her children.

She married a good man, and together the two of them raised my brother and me. Both of us felt like we were truly loved, like we belonged. As I grew, I learned that my mom had us in mind as she was facing all the pain and developing new thought patterns.

Mom became the parent that she always wished she had. It was a very difficult transition for her, but I know that my mom is glad she did. She has seen the love and cheering she did for us come back to her. She is completely loved and adored by her kids and grandkids.

Did you have a similar situation? Are you or were your parents Pioneers?