Guest Author Misty Cox

I am a jack of all trades in the homemaking with children department.  I have given birth in a hospital, on a birthing stool, at home in bed, and in a huge soft birthing tub.   Our kids have done public school, charter schools, online schools, and all-out home school.  I have baked and cooked up all kinds of meat-filled, sugar-filled, and butter laden dishes followed up with tofu vegan lasagna and 100% raw vegan squash spaghetti.  Pick a year or two and I can tell you what phase I was in.

I like to try things.  I like to organize things.  Everything has it’s place.  Including each one of my phases.  I put my vegetarian phase in with my early home school phase.  My walking phase goes in with my Weight Watcher phase.  Everything in a box.  Like teaching history and literature and math and science but not having any of those things touch.  Each subject completely apart from the other.  Don’t let the peas touch the mashed potatoes because that’s just gross.

I did learn something once though.  I can’t treat myself like a dinner plate.  I cannot take care of my mind with only a bit of reading and stimulating conversation.  My emotional well being hinges on more than just high doses of B-Vitamins.  My mind, my feelings, and my body are so interconnected there is no telling where one ends and the other begins.  My strength is so much more than muscle mass.  I have learned that being healthy is finding balance.  It is that place where mind, body, and spirit meet and have a pleasant conversation.  They agree. There is harmony.  And there is work.

Energy spent for emotional well being.  Effort put forth to fortify the mind.  Exercise of body and mind for the sake of peace within.  There is no substitute for work.  Work is a true and divine principle.  My work has ranged from willing my body to crawl across the floor to call for help, to running 200 miles across the desert with a relay team of friends on no sleep and little food.  My work is mine.  It is finding the right thing at the right time.

It seems as though this time, yoga is the thing.  With my husband.

My cute man does YOGA with me!  He used to roll his eyes and chuckle softly when I would talk to him about a full yogic breath and centering and sun salutations.  Now he is “Namaste-ing” with the best of em’.  Well.  Kind of.  Instead of touching his head to his shins he is only able to reach in the general direction, but hey, he is taking a certain level of relaxation with him throughout his day.  And that is cool.

So I am thinking that maybe my current yoga phase can touch my running phase which coincides with my walking phase.  Maybe they can cozy up and hold hands.  Maybe they can even get thrown into a bowl together and get all mixed up and combine together so you can’t tell where one ends and the other begins.  I like that idea.  It reminds me of making cookies.  Healthy no sugar no flour cookies of course.  Which I did.  Last night.  I will show you those next time.

But for now, let’s just eat our peas and potatoes together in one bite.  Mind, body, and spirit.  Working together.  Inhale and Stretch to Your Left…….

I’m sure you’ve seen her. You might even know her. That super confident, always poised person who isn’t swept up in the opinions of others. Her healthy social relationships are relaxed and joyful. Although she values her friends and family, she’s strong enough to make good decisions without crumbling to the pressure or expectations of those around her. Everyone treats her with great respect and seems happier when she’s around. In fact, she’s usually happy herself. Often it even seems that she gets favorable treatment wherever she goes.

Why did she seem to do it with such ease?

Studies have shown that people with healthy self-esteem really are treated differently than people with low-self-esteem. Because of this treatment, it re-enforces what they already believe about themselves. Higher self-esteem people often receive favorable treatment. They’re strengthened by positive past performance and they believe they are and will be successful in what they set out to do.

Low-self-esteem people are often plagued by doubt, past rejections and failure. They are more likely ignored, put down, rejected, not listened to, compared to others or labeled than their higher self-esteem counterparts. Because they rely on others to support and approve of them, they give in to peer pressure more often.

It really does matter what we think about ourselves.

A friend of mine has a note taped by her computer to remind her of this. It says, “Listen to your heart above all other voices.”
~ Marta Kagan

It might not be an overnight process to become the confident, poised person we long to be. But we can start focusing on good, right, true thoughts and then we’ll be one step closer to becoming that person we truly long to be.

Tell me in the comments what you’ve done to be the woman you want to be.

There were two Greek Gods, looking down on the earth. They saw a beggar, in tattered clothes, walking through a pasture. It was evident he was in great need. One god said to the other that she felt sorry for the beggar. Her idea was to give the man some riches to improve his life. The other god thought her idea was futile and he said, “Why do you think riches are the answer?” She had compassion on the beggar and placed a bag of gold in the path near his feet.

The startled man, jumped back. Then he carefully examined and walked around the bag, wondering about its contents; then headed off, continuing on his way. The God was bewildered. She didn’t understand how anyone would pass up such a wonderful gift! The gold would seem to solve his problems.

She was determined to understand the begar’s actions. Moments later she was face to face with him asking about the gold.

You gave it to me? He asked. “Yes, aren’t you grateful that I placed it in your path? she questioned. “Oh yes,” he said “I’m thankful I noticed it and stepped around it without tripping and falling!”

Sometimes an experience we wish to avoid is a gift from God. When we trust and believe, we’ll be better for it.

What is your bag of gold?

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” –Dr. Seuss

In a society that seems to reward us for looking, acting and thinking alike, having a unique identity might seem a bit out of date, or even worse, like a sure route to social stigma. Celebrating our individual uniqueness starts by acknowledging and respecting the qualities we posses that make us different from everyone else. We are special. No one is exactly like us. And that’s GOOD! Another aspect of uniqueness is the need to be respected by others and admired for possessing those unique qualities. While we can’t control what others think about us, we can control what we think about ourselves. And, believe it or not, the way we think, speak and treat ourselves, is a big indication to others on how to think, speak to, and treat us. Instead of looking around at how beautiful, rich, smart, and talented others are and wishing we were like them, let’s spend some time looking inside us to see what unique, wonderful gems we’ve hidden away. Time to pull them out! Wondering how much freedom you’ve given yourself to be you? Think about things like this:

1. Are you doing things for the right reason (i.e. the groups you’ve joined, the hobbies you spend time on, the sports you play/watch, etc.)?

2. How do you dress? in things you like, or labels/styles that others dictate to you?

3. Are you aware of how you feel or do you let other’s thoughts and feelings dictate your behaviors?

4. Are there things that you’d like to do or try that you haven’t because nobody else is doing it, or nobody else would understand (i.e. a class or skill or hobby you’d like to learn/do, etc.)?

The less time we spend on looking at how together and cool others are, the better. Then we’ll have the time we need to develop and love the uniqueness of ourselves. As we grow in our ability to let ourselves be us, our desire to be more like everyone else will disappear. And in it’s place, our self-worth will become stronger.
Are you finding this to be true?

“Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has.” —Anon

Reality is you are a diamond in the rough. The Divine Creator has perfectly made you. Whether you recognize it or not, underneath it all, you are a beautiful, sparkling, diamond! Your journey in this life can lead you to this realization!

All that we have thought and believed up to this time in our lives has made us into what we are. We can choose to think and believe anything we want. We have the power to change.

It is important for you to realize that your mind is not in control. You are in control of your mind. As you sit back and watch yourself, as a mouse in your pocket, you’ll be able to see what you’re doing, and get in touch with what is going on inside. As you start to see, you’ll be able to admit honestly what you’re feeling and thinking. It all starts by being aware. We need to observe what’s going on inside our minds. Ultimately, we need to master the skill of observing ourselves.

We all are meant to live happy, wonderful lives.

Unfortunately, we have all experienced pain on different levels. We need to identify our emotional pain, it can be debilitating. It doesn’t matter what kind of pain it is, it hurts. Don’t compare yourself with others, rationalizing that because someone else has it worse, we don’t need to work on it. The pain that you feel is real. It needs to be acknowledged, worked through (felt) and let go.

Pain is one of the greatest motivators to master our skill as an observer. Pain gets our attention. Unfortunately, because it hurts so badly, we often avoid or minimize it.

Paying attention and feeling your emotions is the quickest way to get on the right track and begin to create a beautiful life. Being a Master Observer is a wonderful path, working through the past pain, facing and feeling it frees you.

I’m telling you about a direction that may seem difficult at this time.

Take a deep breath with the reassurance that with these techniques you’ll come out on the other side feeling better. You’ll see that your divine nature is ready to shine. Sometimes we feel that we are not deserving of goodness. We take the air we breathe for granted. Air is a divine gift waiting for us at no asking. God wants us to have everything that He has.

We can take control of our minds. We can stop thinking the thoughts that are hurting us.

When you hear yourself thinking things like, “I don’t deserve this,” or “this is too hard”, take mental control. You can stop thinking those old thoughts. Say to yourself, “I now choose to believe it is becoming easy for me to change.”

As Louise Hay says, “The thoughts we choose to think are the tools we use to paint the canvas of our lives.”

We can change our lives, if we are willing to change our thoughts.

It is true that we are our own worst critic. Re-programming our mind with positive thoughts about ourselves is as simple as we choose to make it.

Start with one thought. Write down a wonderful statement about yourself, and repeat it throughout the day. Say it out loud at least 10 times a day, first thing when you wake up, and last thing before falling asleep. If you’re having a hard time coming up with a statement because you don’t yet believe positive things about yourself, here are a few good thoughts to start with. Whether you believe it or not at this time, say it.

“I am worthwhile.”

“I am deserving.”

“I love myself.”

“I allow myself to be fulfilled.”

Make a commitment to yourself. Write these statements down and put them in places that you will read them: on your mirror, on your computer screen or refrigerator, wherever you”ll see them. Remember to repeat them out loud.

You’ll be amazed at how gently these thoughts change your life.

I”d love to hear what you think about this! Leave a comment below!

In 1989 Lori, my sister-in-law and I were the founders of the SPWC, the Strong and Powerful Women’s Club. I was 25 years old and Lori was 15. We were wise beyond our years. We understood that we needed to be totally honest with ourselves and we could see that most people weren’t. It wasn’t until 10 years later that I read The Power of NOW by Eckhart Tolle. And I heard him say, “If we are able to be fully present and take each step in The Now; If we are able to feel the reality of such things as opening ourselves to such things as the inner-body, surrender, forgiveness, and the un manifested, we will be opening ourselves to the transforming experience of The Power of Now.”  In the Now, in the absence of time, all your problems dissolve.  Suffering needs time; it cannot survive in the Now.

Our Strong and Powerful Women’s Club was for us, the beginning of living in the Now!

Tell me how your journey of awareness began.  Do you feel happier life living in the Now?

I mean it, I was good at telling lies.  My mom tried to teach me differently, but every time it was convenient, it would just slip out.  You know, when I forgot to call someone and I saw her, I’d say, I tried to get a hold of you! Or when someone wanted to hang out and I didn’t, “I’m sorry,” I’d say, “I have plans!” Or when a friend would ask my opinion of her new dress, “Oh, that’s beautiful!”

When I graduated high school, I decided it was time to be honest.  I committed to myself and to God, to tell the truth.  The (true) story I tell my children to teach them about being honest happened in college:  I had an appointment to see a church leader after a public meeting.  We were planning to meet in the foyer as soon as the meeting ended.  I totally forgot, and went straight home.  It wasn’t until the next day, when I saw him that I remembered!  My first and usual reaction was, “I looked everywhere for you!  I waited for about 15 minutes, then decided I’d just catch up with you at church.”  Remembering my commitment to be honest, I said, “I’m sorry, I forgot.”  His response was, “Don’t worry, Linda, I saw you leave!”

Can you imagine?