1. Sing loving songs to your child.
2. Sit with your baby or young child on your lap with a mirror in your hand. Allow them to see themselves with you and the love you have for them.
3. Carve out special time just for your child and give them your full attention.
4. Ask your child’s opinion.
5. Ask them to “teach” you something they know.
6. Play.
7. Address them by name.
8. Recognize a special talent and encourage them in it.
9. Set aside a WALL OF FAME in your house to showcase your children’s accomplishments.
10. Plant a garden.
11. Allow your child to be part of the vacation planning.
12. Cook together.

Here is a fun cooking activity we can do with our children. Just like many of you, my sister-in-law, Michelle, made free-hand pancake shapes with her kids - one day she saw the vision and created oven-safe Food Shapers!  Now Shape-It’s offers a one-of-a-kind product called The Play With Your Food Kit! All are designed to make playing with your food a mother-sanctioned and memorable family tradition!

Shape-Its food forms are manufactured from an aircraft aluminum alloy that has been specially processed to provide years of durable use with out losing it’s shape. These forms work great for shaping any kind of shapeable food (i.e. pancakes, cakes, cookies, gelatin, ice cream, marshmallows treats, brownies and more.) Each form is easy to clean, dishwasher safe, oven safe to 350 degrees and will not rust. All Shape-Its forms are equipped with folding handles to make storing easy.

Shape-It’s has a wide variety of kits that contain 2-3 Shape-It’s food forms, 2 decorating gels, 2 decorating sprinkles and 4 food-safe markers that come in a clear, re-usable vinyl bag for just $16.99.

Shape-It’s also offers Single Food Forms that kids will love; Animals, Dinosaurs, Holidays, Sea Creatures, Trucks, Trains and Airplanes for only $5.99 or $6.99 each.  Place an Order Here.

Michelle has given wonderful suggestions of creative ways to make the cooking experience fun for everyone! 

With a little imagination, the above list will grow and grow. Sometimes the best thing you can do for your child’s self-esteem is to just spend time. Time in a busy world speaks volumes.

Tell me how you have fun with your children and boosted their self esteem in the process~

In bringing up children, spend on them half as much money and twice as much time.

Recipe for a Healthy Self-Esteem:

Start with one part connection Liberally sprinkle with large doses of unique identity Season with a bit of power Stir in positive role models Mix all ingredients together and let self-esteem rise.

This recipe is best if consumed as a regular part of daily life.

After many years of research, Clemes and Bean found that only four basic conditions are necessary for maintaining a high self-esteem: connectiveness, uniqueness, power and role models.

Over the course of the next few blog entries, I will discuss each of these vital conditions with you in detail. Let’s start with Connectiveness.

Connectiveness. The satisfaction a person experiences when he/she feels part of or belongs to something larger (group, family, etc.) than themselves, and when they feel they’re important to those people with whom they “belong”.

 No man is an island. This is more than a clique. It’s the truth. We need each other.

Psychologist Abraham Maslow concluded that the need to belong is one of the five basic needs a human being has, and is only lower than psychological (food, water, shelter) and safety (security, stability, freedom from fear) needs. It’s no wonder that you can belong to almost ANY kind of group in our society, sports, school and church groups, peer, critique, and hobby groups. The list goes on and on.

Take a look at your connections. How connected do you feel? What groups do you belong to? What kind of social framework does your life rest upon? How connected to your family and friends are you?

If the answers to these questions feel a bit sparse, look into ways you can build up that connection in your life.

Connectiveness is an essential ingredient for living a healthy, balanced life and will help ensure that your self-esteem is right where it should be. In

In contrast to how a child belongs in the world, adult belonging is never as natural, innocent, or playful. Adult belonging has to be chosen, received, and renewed. It is a lifetime’s work. –John O’Donahue

Mother Theresa’s adage could go on to say, “One filled with guilt preaches without preaching, one filled with low self-worth preaches without preaching, fill in the blank…it works for just about anything you struggle with. How we present ourselves to the world is important. And it starts with what we think about ourselves.

We’ve been talking for awhile about the essential characteristics necessary for someone to maintain a high self-esteem, connection to others, the ability to see and appreciate their own uniqueness, a sense of having power over their lives and life decisions, and the presence of positive role models.

Now let’s look at our role in maintaining a positive self-esteem for our children’s sake. What does me having a good self-esteem have to do with my children? Well, pretty much everything, let me explain.

Studies have shown that homes that have certain characteristics in operation in the home generally produce children that have high self-esteem. Do you want to know the number one characteristic? Yep. It’s high parental self-esteem.

What? You mean we can’t just love and encourage our kids and give them permission to be unique? All of that is important, yes, but your children are still going to absorb everything you say and do, as well as those things you don’t say and do. They’re dry sponges eagerly soaking up your example.

Do you feel good about yourself? If you do, it helps your children feel good about themselves in return. Do you embrace your own uniqueness? Ditto for your children. There is no easy way to get around it: Healthy Self-Esteem grows Healthy Self-Esteem. It’s gotta start with us.

The good news is this: The more we actively work to boost our children’s self-esteem, the more it helps boost our own. Whew. Now that feels a bit better, doesn’t it? We don’t have to have all the right answers. We just need to be striving in the right direction.

So, on those days when you feel like scum and want to verbally beat yourself silly, think of your kids. Build them up. Tell them what a great person they are. It’s infectious. Pretty soon you’ll feel better about yourself too, as you watch your child beaming with pride.

After all, one filled with joy preaches without preaching. even when it’s your child’s joy preaching to you.

Usually our children are stuck with us during the formative years of birth till two or three. Adopted children don’t always have that benefit. Since many kids are stuck together during those formative years it’s important to understand how much influence we have as parents and the best ways to use it. How we raise our children will have a far-reaching impact farther than anything else we do in our lives. It’s not just about our interaction with our children. It’s how they interact with those around them. How they pick a spouse. How they raise their children. How their children interact with those around them. How they pick a spouse, raise their children and on and on it goes. Our positive (or negative) influence in their lives potentially lives on for generations and generations.

My mom set a great example for me when I was young. She broke the cycle of abuse in her family. It probably would have been easier for her to continue along in the patterns of abuse. Change is hard. Especially change that involves issues of self-worth. But my mom didn’t choose the easy way out. She chose a higher ground. She proved to me that change is possible.

Because of my mom’s bravery, she and my dad were able to raise my brother and me in a positive atmosphere. We knew they loved us and we never questioned that we “belonged”. Yes, we, too, were stuck with our parents and they were stuck with us. Fortunately for us, this sticky relationship developed many good characteristics in our lives and gave us a strong foundation for when we began raising children of our own.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, I’ve become my mother, after all.

Did your teenagers ever wish they had a different family? How did you handle it? Stories, I want stories! Leave them in the comments below!

It seemed that the layers were never ending! One day, in exasperation, I asked God if there wasn’t something better in the middle?! I needed to know that there was something that I was made of, that wasn’t just Ick! It wasn’t until I asked God, that I found out. I spent time in meditation and prayer, with thought and focus on my value, and I saw what was in the middle! I saw what was inside of me! And what is inside of everyone!

The answer came to me in a beautiful vision, it was almost like a dream, but I was completely awake. I saw those layers, it was not layers of an onion, they were more like the layers of a green, leafy plant, these leaves are symbolic of our experiences. Experiences that are caused by us, or upon us by others, either way, they were experiences to be learned from. We will have these experiences every day, it is the stuff life is made of.

In the center of all these experiences, these green leaves, was a wonderful jewel! It was, a beautiful, sparkling, translucent and reflective Diamond! The cut of the diamond is beautifully unique, calculated to optimize fire and brilliance. I saw the crystal, clear color of the diamond! During the struggles, (the layers of leaves), dealing with other’s imperfections, and dealing with my own, this diamond is always there, it’s within me, within us. It’s within everyone, no matter how coated with the leaves of experiences we are. As we learn from our experiences, we will be polished and shined. It is our experiences that make us into what we are! No matter if we recognize it or not, we are, now and always, Diamonds in the Rough!

We are taught from a young age that it’s vain and wrong to love ourselves, but in reality we are the ultimate and unconditional source of LOVE ITSELF.
The closer we get to unconditionally loving ourselves the more wonderful our lives will be.

10 ways to expedite the process of falling in love with yourself-

1. Praise yourself. Learn to complement everything that you do. See the good that you do and acknowledge it. When you complete a task, you did some things right! Focus on them, feel good about them.

2. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself and stop putting anger and resentment into your mind that will prevent change.

We all make mistakes remember it’s ok to make mistakes while you’re learning.

3. Support yourself. Ask for help when you need it. Don’t let ego get in the way. People are more than willing to help a person with a positive attitude. It brings joy to the giver as well as the receiver.

4. Stop criticizing yourself. The power of the subconscious is amazing. As we pay attention and become a master observer we’ll realize how deeply rooted our beliefs about ourselves are.

If you were raised in a troubled home you might have become super-responsible.

When you take on that responsibility it’s easy to be critical of yourselves. This responsibility might lead you to think you’re not good enough. You find ways to feel guilty and miserable. The old tapes of being bad, ugly, lazy, or worthless will start to surface.

You must take the time to create and say affirmations to retrain your mind.

5. Take care of your body. Alcohol and drugs are the most popular method of escape. Stuffing food in is another way to hide from emotions.

These indulgences alone do not make a bad person, if these are a part of your life and are your method of escape, you just haven’t found a more positive way of fulfilling your needs. The negative effects of this indulgence far out ways the temporary high of escape and it will add guilt and negative feelings of self.

6. Take nutrition into your own hands. Be aware of what you put into your mouths and how it makes you feel. Food companies and advertisers influence our eating habits. You must get control of your eating.

Many healthy lifestyle diets are popular. Remember what works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for everyone. Another reason to pay attention find out which diet works best for you.

Find exercise that you enjoy and do it.

7. Stop scaring yourself. Leave the little kids fear behind, there are no monsters under the bed. Often people fall into sleep dreaming, fearing the worst possibilities – if someone makes a comment at work, or their kids are not making choices that obviously will lead to unhappiness, or if someone doesn’t call it is assumed you’re not worthy of love. It is amazing how when you imagine that something is, it will come to pass.

Meditate, Visualize optimistic outcomes.

8. Be kind to your mind. Remember negative thoughts are affirmations. When the negative thought comes to your mind, take control. Say to yourself, I’m not going to think about that anymore, I love myself. I am a loveable, kind person.

Negative thoughts will bring you down. Think thoughts that will build you up, not beat you up. These experiences are learning experiences

A mantra is a sacred verbal formula repeated in prayer or meditation. When you choose a word, or a phrase, and say it regularly it will become part of you. Choose a mantra; maybe “Love” or “I love myself.”

9. Don’t pretend to be perfect. No one is perfect. Instead discover creative distinctions that show your individuality and appreciate yourselves for the qualities that make you different from others. Each of you has a unique role to play on this earth.

You can dream big, set goals and work at achieving them. But being perfect puts extreme pressure and prevents you from looking at areas of your lives that need healing.

10. Be patient with yourself. When you feel the love for yourself, recognize your areas of needed growth, and work on them, with no criticism, you will see the world in a new light. Since you don’t criticize others, you won’t worry about others criticizing you. It is amazing how happy you can be.

All you have to do is recognize the love within you.

We’ve been conditioned to believe that our value is dependent on what we’ve done, but it’s not true! When we leave this planet, we can take nothing with us. Nothing except what is in our hearts and minds. We will take with us our capacity to love.

Our very nature is LOVE itself!

Thanks for reading this post. I would like to invite you to join me in Silverline Club and connect with my friends there. Use this link to watch a short video presentation.

Wondering how your children stack up on the self-esteem scale? Although there’s no sure-fire way to gauge and grade self-esteem, there are some key signs to look for:

1. Does your child avoid activities or situations that cause anxiety (i.e. math class or PE)?
2. Does your child repeatedly put down his talents?
3. Does your child blame others for her shortcomings and have a hard time taking responsibility for his own actions?
4. Do others easily influence your child? Does he repeatedly give in to peer pressure?
5. Is your child defensive or have a low tolerance for frustration?
6. Does your child feel powerless?

According to Clemes and Bean, researchers and authors, these characteristics are often associated with children struggling with low self-esteem.

If your child exhibits many of these characteristics, don’t panic. Self-esteem is formed. This means it can be molded in new directions. Consistent love, support and feelings of acceptance can begin to turn the tide. Make no doubt about it kids don’t miss a thing! If you help them feel important, it will make a difference. Before long you will see less and less self-esteem challenged behavior as your child will becomes increasingly self-confident.

But how do you know if your words are sinking in and helping him feel more self-secure? First caution here is: Don’t focus on a single characteristic or behavior. Even an unshakeable self-esteem ebbs and flows.

Rather, look at your child’s overall behavior patterns. Is he proud of his accomplishments? Does she assume responsibility for herself? Does he tolerate moderate levels of frustration? Does she enthusiastically approach new challenges? Does he exhibit a wide range of emotions and feelings?

Don’t expect a huge turn around immediately, especially if your’e just starting in on a new plan to help raise your child’s self-esteem. Think of it more like a savings account. As you slowly make deposits, you’ll begin to receive larger and larger dividends over time.

Be patient, be consistent and don’t give up. Helping develop your child’s self-esteem is one of the biggest gifts you can give them. And the dividends will grow for generations.

Sara, one of Emily’s classmates, works hard for her grades. Although not nearly as bright as Emily, Sara knows she is loved. Her close-knit family instills in Sara that she’s valuable and can do anything she sets her mind to.

Which girl do you think does better in school?

Multiple studies show over and over that a child with average intelligence and healthy self-esteem will out-score and out-perform a child with much higher intelligence and lower self-esteem.

Why is this? For one, a low self-esteem child is easily distracted, more anxious and fearful, and feels more pressure than children with a healthy view of themselves. They simply don’t have enough energy leftover to concentrate on learning.

As children grow, so do the pressures facing them. In the face of adolescence, with it’s own set of uncertainties, body image becomes increasingly important. Teaching a child how to feed their bodies is important, but even more important is teaching a child what to feed her mind.

Nielsen Co. conducted a survey about the television viewing habits of Americans. They concluded that the average American watches four hours of TV daily. While the typical American youth spends 900 hours a year in school, they spend 1500 hours a year in front of the television.

This translates into viewing, roughly, 20,000 commercials per year. Commercials filled with models that are thinner than 95% of the population. And this becomes part of the ‘standard’ our children look to for acceptance and worth.

Loving on our children and helping them know they are wonderful just how they are, does more for them than we can imagine. They’ll get better grades. They will have a better view of themselves and their bodies. They will have healthier relationships with others. And they’ll grow up to be healthy, well-adjusted adults that aren’t victim to the skewed views of the world around them.

You’ve probably heard the saying GARBAGE IN, GARBAGE OUT, but why not put a positive spin on it? Fill your children with good and good will eventually find it’s way back out! Good in, Good Out! GIGO!!

Dog owners read that and smile. Ah, yes unconditional love lavished upon us regardless of our faults. It doesn’t matter if we’re fat or old or forgot to make snacks for our children’s youth function. We are perfect in the eyes of our dog.

A person struggling with self-esteem issues often spends her whole life listening to what other’s think about her. And it’s never as glamorous as the dog’s opinion! How well we “measure up” to expectations of others (and ourselves) often becomes our measurement of success.

Our self-esteem is, essentially, a measuring stick of how we view ourselves. It’s my evaluation of me; you’re evaluation of you. It’s a self-appraisal based on what we feel (and what we imagine other people must think) about our life performance how capable, lovely, worthy, successful, appreciated, beautiful and flawless we are.

The problem with this is that we have a wacky set of measuring tools that tell us what the standard is. We are constantly bombarded by our culture, media, relationships, work, friends, commercials, newspaper, Internet, our feelings at any given moment, and our health. Much of what we hear (or sometimes perceive we hear) is not realistic. Yet, we embrace it as TRUTH and feverishly try to live this impossible standard. And when we fail, we use it as ammunition against our value as a person.

Having healthy self-esteem requires turning a deaf ear to the stuff flying at us that’s out of balance. It’s learning to rest in the truth that we are lovable, regardless of how we look, what kind of mood we’re in, how we clean our house, or how much money we make.

You are valuable. You are important. Period. There are NO qualifiers to this. There are no performance tests. You can set the ruler down. You measure up.

One of the first steps in boosting your self-esteem is to give yourself permission to be you: Unique, wonderful, interesting, glorious YOU. There is no one exactly like YOU. (And, believe it or not, it’s meant to be that way!)

Another crucial step is giving yourself permission to set realistic standards for yourself. Not the perceived standards of Hollywood, family, friends or co-workers. The key here is REALISTIC standards ones that fit YOU.

And if you have a dog, you just might want to thank him. Maybe he’s smarter than you’ve given him credit for. He loves you just for you. He doesn’t have anything he’s measuring you against. And just YOU is enough.