Is Superman in the building?

Okay Superman is a bit much, I admit, but where are the good role models for us to follow? And, just as important, how do we become good role models for others?

Role models are human reference points for us to follow. Not copy. Not become an exact replica of, but follow. They are people ahead of us on the road that light the way. People we respect that hold the same values and are living life in a brave, upright, healthy way.

If you doubt the power of a role model think back to a really outstanding (or exceptionally terrible) teacher you had growing up. Do you remember anything good (or bad) they did or said that helped form the person you are today?

Not only do we need role models in our lives, but we also need to live in such a way that we can be role models to others. If you have children, being a role model is not an option. It comes with the job. Our children watch everything we say and do. Nothing escapes them. Whether good or bad, we are the first role models they ever have.

How do you become a good role model? Here are a few suggestions to get you started:

1. WATCH your actions. Others are.
2. BE HONEST with yourself. How can you become a better person?
3. REPAIR yourself. Get rid of those less than stellar problems and habits that you have.
4. SHINE. Let your good stuff show.
5. PUT YOUR HEART into it. Do your best at whatever you do and therefore inspire others to give 100% to life.

What kind of role models did you have growing up? What kind do you have now? Take stock of your current life and see if you need to search out new role models to emulate.

Here are some things to look for when considering a new role model:

1. Do they seem to have confidence in their own abilities?
2. Do they celebrate people as unique and special?
3. Do they interact well with others and take time to communicate?
4. Do they live their life according to the standards you believe important?
5. Do they spend time making the world a better place?

Never underestimate the need for a good role model in your life, nor the power of your example in the lives of others.

“Learn from the mistakes of others—you can’t live long enough to make all of them yourself.”
–Martin Vanbee

Our Strong and Powerful Women’s Club was for us, the beginning of living in the Now!

Tell me how your journey of awareness began.  Do you feel happier life living in the Now?

I was good at what I did. I knew the material, I had the attention of the crowd. I educated the boys in the Juvenile Detention Center about the devastating effects of domestic violence. I talked about the cause, the pain that both the victims and perpetuators were feeling, and set goals for the boys.

My goal was to help them get out of the cycle of abusive behavior and heal from the abuse they’d experienced. I knew full well that most of these boys were abused and abusive.
 
Jeanne called me to her office after the class, to debrief. She asked me how I felt about the class. Of course I told her I thought it went well. The boys continued to pay attention, right until the end. I was sure they must have gotten information at least in their ears, it would take many more times (if ever) until it became a part of their lives.

Then the blast hit. Jeanne said, “It looked to me like you were flirting with the boys.” I couldn’t believe it! I wouldn’t do that! I was 25 years old! These boys were still in high school! I was a happily married woman, with 3 children! I would never even think about such a thing!

That is the truth! I would never have consciously thought of such a thing! As we talked about it, I couldn’t deny it! The way I commanded a crowd of hormonal boys was to keep their attention through my mannerisms, my jokes, my smiles and an occasional wink. As I felt the discomfort washing over me, sitting in the office with my boss, I was so embarrassed!

I felt so guilty! I couldn’t help it, I started to cry! (Later, I learned that is another coping strategy). I had been so proud of myself, teaching these boys things that I was sure they had never heard before, (another thing that I learned, they knew too much and how to hide it!)

This consciousness, this awareness of what I’m doing, being able to be honest with myself, has allowed me to live in peace and happiness! I am continually growing, mastering my observing skills! I am honestly learning, as Katie Freiling said, it’s all about ‘Witnessing Consciousness’. This is reality! Yes!

Dog owners read that and smile. Ah, yes unconditional love lavished upon us regardless of our faults. It doesn’t matter if we’re fat or old or forgot to make snacks for our children’s youth function. We are perfect in the eyes of our dog.

A person struggling with self-esteem issues often spends her whole life listening to what other’s think about her. And it’s never as glamorous as the dog’s opinion! How well we “measure up” to expectations of others (and ourselves) often becomes our measurement of success.

Our self-esteem is, essentially, a measuring stick of how we view ourselves. It’s my evaluation of me; you’re evaluation of you. It’s a self-appraisal based on what we feel (and what we imagine other people must think) about our life performance how capable, lovely, worthy, successful, appreciated, beautiful and flawless we are.

The problem with this is that we have a wacky set of measuring tools that tell us what the standard is. We are constantly bombarded by our culture, media, relationships, work, friends, commercials, newspaper, Internet, our feelings at any given moment, and our health. Much of what we hear (or sometimes perceive we hear) is not realistic. Yet, we embrace it as TRUTH and feverishly try to live this impossible standard. And when we fail, we use it as ammunition against our value as a person.

Having healthy self-esteem requires turning a deaf ear to the stuff flying at us that’s out of balance. It’s learning to rest in the truth that we are lovable, regardless of how we look, what kind of mood we’re in, how we clean our house, or how much money we make.

You are valuable. You are important. Period. There are NO qualifiers to this. There are no performance tests. You can set the ruler down. You measure up.

One of the first steps in boosting your self-esteem is to give yourself permission to be you: Unique, wonderful, interesting, glorious YOU. There is no one exactly like YOU. (And, believe it or not, it’s meant to be that way!)

Another crucial step is giving yourself permission to set realistic standards for yourself. Not the perceived standards of Hollywood, family, friends or co-workers. The key here is REALISTIC standards ones that fit YOU.

And if you have a dog, you just might want to thank him. Maybe he’s smarter than you’ve given him credit for. He loves you just for you. He doesn’t have anything he’s measuring you against. And just YOU is enough.

Louise Hay teaches in her book, ‘Heal Your Body’, No matter how dire (your) predicament seems to be, I KNOW if (you) are WILLING to do the mental work of releasing and forgiving, almost anything can be healed.”

I believed it then, when I was healthy, but when my health failed, and I worked hard, I began to doubt. I had an attitude that impressed people, but in my heart, I doubted the ability to ever live a healthy life again.

After 45 years of learning, including 13 years with Multiple Sclerosis, I’m finally getting over it! God has the power to miraculously heal me, but He has allowed me to have this adversity to learn. I couldn’t understand why I was having such difficulty learning! Now I can see! I never thought I’d say this, I appreciate the experience!

We need to recognize the power is within! We have been blessed with a body and mind created to be healthy and well. With the help of God, we can create whatever we want. We can have complete health, rewarding relationships, perfect careers, abundance in everything. This is the truth! We can have it all!

We need to take some steps to make it happen!

Step 1. Believe that it is possible. When we are experiencing uncomfortable lives, we sometimes feel there is no hope. We can’t see any way out. It doesn’t seem possible to have peace. For starters we must believe that it is possible! God wants us to have all the good that we want. I believe that we are all connected to God and with God, all things are possible.

Step 2. Let go! Let go of our habits that are creating the poor conditions of our lives. We must be honest with ourselves and understand what we are thinking and feeling. These thoughts create our circumstances. My journey has led me to the understanding that we really do have power over our physical circumstances.
When I was going through the ups and downs of relapsing-remitting MS, I found that I wasn’t able to do many of the things that I was used to doing, the things that I gained my self-esteem from. I felt useless. It was then that I realized I am a “diamond in the rough”. Now I understand my divine worth, and I realize everyone has the same worth, the same value. We are all fabulous creations. With this understanding, we will feel the same love for everyone!

Step 3. Trust our God-given inner power to create the life that we dream of. We must choose to use this power to control our minds to tell ourselves what we want to be. This power is the power to acknowledge the good that is in us, the power to live in the now~ letting the past go. The power to create affirmations that will lead us into the area we want to be. As we realize that our thoughts and our words are our power.

BELIEVE, LET GO, TRUST AND DO! We’ll Get Over It! And We’ll Have All We Want! I will walk again!

When I graduated high school, I decided it was time to be honest.  I committed to myself and to God, to tell the truth.  The (true) story I tell my children to teach them about being honest happened in college:  I had an appointment to see a church leader after a public meeting.  We were planning to meet in the foyer as soon as the meeting ended.  I totally forgot, and went straight home.  It wasn’t until the next day, when I saw him that I remembered!  My first and usual reaction was, “I looked everywhere for you!  I waited for about 15 minutes, then decided I’d just catch up with you at church.”  Remembering my commitment to be honest, I said, I’m sorry, I forgot.”  His response was, “Don’t worry, Linda, I saw you leave!”

  Can you imagine?