But how do you know if your words are sinking in and helping him feel more self-secure? First caution here is: Don’t focus on a single characteristic or behavior. Even an unshakeable self-esteem ebbs and flows.

Rather, look at your child’s overall behavior patterns. Is he proud of his accomplishments? Does she assume responsibility for herself? Does he tolerate moderate levels of frustration? Does she enthusiastically approach new challenges? Does he exhibit a wide range of emotions and feelings?

Don’t expect a huge turn around immediately, especially if your’e just starting in on a new plan to help raise your child’s self-esteem. Think of it more like a savings account. As you slowly make deposits, you’ll begin to receive larger and larger dividends over time.

Be patient, be consistent and don’t give up. Helping develop your child’s self-esteem is one of the biggest gifts you can give them. And the dividends will grow for generations.

One day, my almost 3yr old son made a mess while eating breakfast. I told him he could go outside and play as soon as his mess was cleaned up. He rolled around on the floor, avoiding the clean-up. When I was done with my work in the kitchen, and ready to leave the room, I minded him, “you can go outside and play as soon as you’re done cleaning up your mess.” His reply, “Don’t worry mom, you’ll forget!”

What I learned from toddlers: The need for consistency.

Action: Read, Ask, Listen, Practice

Read: There are many fabulous parenting books available to help us.
My favorite is Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster W. Cline, M.D. and Jim Fay. With love and logic parenting, we’re able to help kids grow to adulthood, to become contributing members of society. If reading isn’t your thing, Love and Logic has CD sets available to buy and Podcasts to download.
I’ve learned that we are really not doing the kids any favors by doing work for them. It would have been much easier to just pick up the cereal for my son, but what would have happened in the future? I’m sure I’d still be picking up his messes! They would just be bigger and more painful!
 

Ask: Ask specific questions to the right person! Find a mentor. Stay close to someone who has succeeded in raising positive children.

Listen: to yourself. We have a natural instinct of how to help our children learn and progress. When we’re given advice, we can discern it’s value. As we study from the best teachers, we can decide if our children will progress doing what is taught.

Practice: Consistency will be one of our goals. We will be learning and growing with our children. We’ll be overcoming habits that were created as far back as our early childhood. As we are working on reaching the goals that we have set, we need to celebrate our accomplishments as we do our children.