There were two Greek Gods, looking down on the earth. They saw a beggar, in tattered clothes, walking through a pasture. It was evident he was in great need. One god said to the other that she felt sorry for the beggar. Her idea was to give the man some riches to improve his life. The other god thought her idea was futile and he said, “Why do you think riches are the answer?” She had compassion on the beggar and placed a bag of gold in the path near his feet.

The startled man, jumped back. Then he carefully examined and walked around the bag, wondering about its contents; then headed off, continuing on his way. The God was bewildered. She didn’t understand how anyone would pass up such a wonderful gift! The gold would seem to solve his problems.

She was determined to understand the begar’s actions. Moments later she was face to face with him asking about the gold.

You gave it to me? He asked. “Yes, aren’t you grateful that I placed it in your path? she questioned. “Oh yes,” he said “I’m thankful I noticed it and stepped around it without tripping and falling!”

Sometimes an experience we wish to avoid is a gift from God. When we trust and believe, we’ll be better for it.

What is your bag of gold?

As I’ve said before, it’s never too late to begin to affirm and build up your child. Knowing that he is loved and appreciated goes a long way in boosting and building a good self-image in him.

But how do you know if your words are sinking in and helping him feel more self-secure? First caution here is: Don’t focus on a single characteristic or behavior. Even an unshakeable self-esteem ebbs and flows.

Rather, look at your child’s overall behavior patterns. Is he proud of his accomplishments? Does she assume responsibility for herself? Does he tolerate moderate levels of frustration? Does she enthusiastically approach new challenges? Does he exhibit a wide range of emotions and feelings?

Don’t expect a huge turn around immediately, especially if your’e just starting in on a new plan to help raise your child’s self-esteem. Think of it more like a savings account. As you slowly make deposits, you’ll begin to receive larger and larger dividends over time.

Be patient, be consistent and don’t give up. Helping develop your child’s self-esteem is one of the biggest gifts you can give them. And the dividends will grow for generations.

You may have heard the funny little adage: I wish I were the person my dog believes I am.

Dog owners read that and smile. Ah, yes unconditional love lavished upon us regardless of our faults. It doesn’t matter if we’re fat or old or forgot to make snacks for our children’s youth function. We are perfect in the eyes of our dog.

A person struggling with self-esteem issues often spends her whole life listening to what other’s think about her. And it’s never as glamorous as the dog’s opinion! How well we “measure up” to expectations of others (and ourselves) often becomes our measurement of success.

Our self-esteem is, essentially, a measuring stick of how we view ourselves. It’s my evaluation of me; you’re evaluation of you. It’s a self-appraisal based on what we feel (and what we imagine other people must think) about our life performance how capable, lovely, worthy, successful, appreciated, beautiful and flawless we are.

The problem with this is that we have a wacky set of measuring tools that tell us what the standard is. We are constantly bombarded by our culture, media, relationships, work, friends, commercials, newspaper, Internet, our feelings at any given moment, and our health. Much of what we hear (or sometimes perceive we hear) is not realistic. Yet, we embrace it as TRUTH and feverishly try to live this impossible standard. And when we fail, we use it as ammunition against our value as a person.

Having healthy self-esteem requires turning a deaf ear to the stuff flying at us that’s out of balance. It’s learning to rest in the truth that we are lovable, regardless of how we look, what kind of mood we’re in, how we clean our house, or how much money we make.

You are valuable. You are important. Period. There are NO qualifiers to this. There are no performance tests. You can set the ruler down. You measure up.

One of the first steps in boosting your self-esteem is to give yourself permission to be you: Unique, wonderful, interesting, glorious YOU. There is no one exactly like YOU. (And, believe it or not, it’s meant to be that way!)

Another crucial step is giving yourself permission to set realistic standards for yourself. Not the perceived standards of Hollywood, family, friends or co-workers. The key here is REALISTIC standards ones that fit YOU.

And if you have a dog, you just might want to thank him. Maybe he’s smarter than you’ve given him credit for. He loves you just for you. He doesn’t have anything he’s measuring you against. And just YOU is enough.