I was born with skinny genes. But like many of you, I understand the roller coaster emotions of weight loss and diets. Even though I have always been thin, I didn’t always think I was thin. I spent much of my teen age years reading teen magazines and watching television. I didn’t feel thin. I thought I was fat. I was like so many young women struggling with eating issues. I’d determine to be good and stop eating, virtually starving myself for days. Then, my self-control would crumble and I’d binge eatstuffing my face with any delicious, fattening food I could find.
In short, I’d eat myself sick.
Embarrassed by my behavior, I’d resolve to gain control over my eating. I’d starve myself again to make up for my embarrassment. I’d successfully contain my cravings for a few days before I’d cave in again and head for the pantry.
On and on this cycle went. My self-esteem dipped lower and lower as I failed to control my eating. It seemed the more I tried to control food, the more food controlled me. I felt trapped and hopeless as I struggled to manage my weight and feel like I looked good.
I longed to leave the endless spiral behind and walk in freedom. I longed to control my eating. I longed to be healthy in mind, body and spirit. I longed to release the real me and let go of my bondage to food. And yet, no matter what I tried, I couldn’t find the keys to control and freedom.
After difficult emotional work, I gained enough control that I wasn’t binge eating anymore. It wasn’t until years later that I had total control of my eating.
It was then that I realized I literally ate myself sick.
When I went in to see the Dr. last month, for my MRI results, I told her I was going on a “Medication Holiday”. I am following Ivy Larson and her Gold Coast Cure. I said I finally have control over my eating, I’m choosing to eat a very healthy diet. My doctor questioned, “You have control over your eating?” as if that was a given for everyone.
You can order Ivy Larson’s book on the bottom right side of my home page.
January 15th, 2010 at 11:10 pm
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. What do you think caused it?
January 16th, 2010 at 2:35 am
I really believe it had to do with the magazines I had absorbed as a teenager, and the TV and movies I watched! Looking back – I’m amazed that I ever experienced the battle with food! Studying about self-esteem, I see that you did everything that’s needed to help me realize my value! I realize now! It’s all about personal growth!
April 5th, 2010 at 7:15 am
I am glad you have it under control now. Eating disorders are very serious.Many feel it is nonsense but I know they are very real. Intervention needs to be done before it gets life threatening.
April 6th, 2010 at 8:30 am
Thank you Beverly~ I’m grateful that I had the exprience for a short time. I can truly understand what motivates those afflicted without having the serious consequences of long-term habits.
August 4th, 2011 at 9:21 pm
I am also skinny but my problem is I want to gain weight. I don’t like
my skinny personality my self-esteem is low .Whatever eat I do it didn’t work..there’s one thing I realize.You should accept what you are,low self-esteem is really not good.
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August 9th, 2011 at 5:43 pm
Ronnie~
I appreciate you saying so! Self esteem is a problem no matter what our size! Just like you say, it’s all about believing and accepting ourselves!
Linda
August 8th, 2011 at 8:39 am
Great article! Thanks for this article it is so informative. Keep up the good work. More power and Godbless:)
Purging compounds
August 9th, 2011 at 1:04 am
Hi there! I believe that you just have to be who you are. Do not deprive yourself from eating. Health is wealth my dear. Be health conscious, not body conscious.
August 9th, 2011 at 5:25 pm
Lesha,
Thanks for taking the time to comment! I agree couldn’t agree more~ now that I lost my health, I can see more clearly that health is wealth!
Linda
August 18th, 2011 at 7:38 pm
Linda Grace, I am happy to hear you have conquered the dieting binging rollercoaster. It can really deplete a persons health and take years to build the health back up.
Just keep up eating better and building your health one day at a time. Some healthy oils in your diet if you have not included them may help quite a bit as well.
August 22nd, 2011 at 8:32 pm
Jeannie,
Thanks for the advice! I have to tell you I am! I love Forever Green Essential oils! I’m sold!
Linda
August 23rd, 2011 at 5:12 am
Hi Linda, glad to hear you have overcome your eating disorder. I used to be skinny in my younger years, downright under-weight. But as we grow older, most people I know, including myself, almost always gain weight….some of them in the wrong places LOL
Like what Ronnie said, love yourself. Accept yourself. Live life to the fullest. Life’s too short to sulk and focus on the negative. Cheers!
Colin
Thousand Oaks Property Management
August 23rd, 2011 at 6:03 am
Colin,
I’m grateful that weight gain isn’t my issue as I get older. Unfortunately, MS is! I agree with Ronnie, no matter what our affliction is, it’s all about living to the fullest!
Linda
January 9th, 2012 at 10:53 pm
“Even though I have always been thin, I didn’t always think I was thin. I spent much of my teen age years reading teen magazines and watching television. I didn’t feel thin. ”
This is one of the negative effect of the entertainment industry as they dictate what beautiful should look like.
Carol Foster recently posted..WoodlandsDivorceLawyer.com Launches
January 18th, 2012 at 1:44 pm
I have a ten year old daughter and some of the most important lessons I’m trying to impart to her is to have a good body image and to eat healthy. I have always spoken of food in terms of fuel for her to accomplish all the physical activities she does. I don’t ever want to eat from boredom or to comfort herself.
Good luck with your recovery! Your story could change a young girl’s life.
January 19th, 2012 at 9:48 am
Karen,
As I read your comment I heard my self saying, “Way to go Karen!” I am honestly recovered!
Linda