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I was born with skinny genes. But like many of you, I understand the roller coaster emotions of weight loss and diets. Even though I have always been thin, I didn’t always think I was thin. I spent much of my teen age years reading teen magazines and watching television. I didn’t feel thin. I thought I was fat. I was like so many young women struggling with eating issues. I’d determine to be good and stop eating, virtually starving myself for days. Then, my self-control would crumble and I’d binge eatstuffing my face with any delicious, fattening food I could find.

In short, I’d eat myself sick.

Embarrassed by my behavior, I’d resolve to gain control over my eating. I’d starve myself again to make up for my embarrassment. I’d successfully contain my cravings for a few days before I’d cave in again and head for the pantry.

On and on this cycle went. My self-esteem dipped lower and lower as I failed to control my eating. It seemed the more I tried to control food, the more food controlled me. I felt trapped and hopeless as I struggled to manage my weight and feel like I looked good.

I longed to leave the endless spiral behind and walk in freedom. I longed to control my eating. I longed to be healthy in mind, body and spirit. I longed to release the real me and let go of my bondage to food. And yet, no matter what I tried, I couldn’t find the keys to control and freedom. 

After difficult emotional work, I gained enough control that I wasn’t binge eating anymore. It wasn’t until years later that I had total control of my eating.

It was then that I realized I literally ate myself sick.

When I went in to see the Dr. last month, for my MRI results, I told her I was going on a “Medication Holiday”. I am following Ivy Larson and her Gold Coast Cure. I said I finally have control over my eating, I’m choosing to eat a very healthy diet. My doctor questioned, “You have control over your eating?” as if that was a given for everyone.

You can order Ivy Larson’s book on the bottom right side of my home page.