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When developing the habit of telling the truth, I learned there are ways to be honest and not to not hurt people’s feelings at the same time. “I like the color of your dress, it matches your eyes”, Instead of the lie, “I love that dress!”

While in College~
I was a volunteer as a group therapist at Central Utah Sexual Abuse Treatment Program. I started to observe people who were, and were not honest with themselves. I spent a lot of time listening and reading about honesty. I learned what it means to be honest.

When I became 100% honest with myself

I remember I got a C on a report about my life experiences regarding my parent’s divorce – I explained that my parents just didn’t match, they were married right out of high school and they did what so many people do – they were physically attracted to each other, mistook that for love, and got married. They raised two children, and in the process, realized they have different goals and desires for life. They were responsible enough to wait until my brother and I were grown, before they separated. Dad, who wanted to retire to his home town in Michigan, and Mom, who wanted to live a life of travel and adventure set out to live their dream lives. They remarried their match. Now I have two step-parents who are perfect! As I wrote a very nice paper, my teacher saw that I wasn’t being honest with myself. Perhaps I wasn’t. But, about their divorce, I was.

Rationalizations:

The 100% honesty thing came in small increments. As a young adult, I would admit, really admit when I was choosing to do something that was against what I believed in. For example, I didn’t want to be addicted to any thing. Even in high school, I didn’t drink alcohol or smoke, my addiction was food, junk food. I wanted to be totally free of all addictions. I wanted to have complete control of myself. When I would eat the cookies after telling myself I wouldn’t, I chose not to rationalize by saying that there is nothing wrong with sugar. Of course, it is heavily debated. The vast majority of people, at least in my life, think that the only problem with sugar is that when people eat sweets, they feel full enough that they don’t eat the “healthy” foods that they need. It makes an easy rationalization to keep eating the junk food. For years I would continue to eat large quantities of cookies and candy. I didn’t have weight issues, so it was easy to eat too much! I ate the junk, but I always knew I was making the wrong choice. When talking about it with my friends and family, they wouldn’t admit that it was wrong. Even when looking at the research, they wouldn’t admit it. I knew what I was doing, and I’d admit it. My husband would say, why is it so important for you to admit it, you’re still eating the cookies. I believe that being honest about it is the first step in overcoming.
It wasn’t until 15 years later that I over came the addiction. That’s another story. The story is the proof that it can be done! We can overcome our additction to food!